Storms

Wow! I can't believe I haven't blogged since August. I guess it's pretty obvious that I am back at work. No time for any extras! This school year has definitely been a challenge, as some of our staff members are going through some major struggles. God is good, though. His presence is definitely in our school.

Things are still the same here on the fertilty journey. I haven't seen my fertility doctor since the end of May, but I have kept in contact through phone conversations.

I am supposed to go in and do an hsg test in a few days. I haven't actually set it up, but I will probably call on Monday. It's a dye test where it's injected through my cervix and through the entire reproductive tract. It will tell us if I have a blocked fallopian tube, or my uterus is shaped in a strange way. If my tubes are slightly blocked, this procedure could help clear the blockages, but if I have 2 severly blocked fallopian tubes, we will never be able to conceive without Invitro Fertilization. I am praying that this isn't the case, because there is NO POSSIBLE way we can afford to do that procedure right now.

Please continue to pray for us. I am having a very hard time deciding if I should do this test right now. First of all, I am SCARED TO DEATH! From what I've heard, it's a very painful procedure with no pain meds. Second of all, I am just a worry wart and I am kind of scared that something will be wrong and I'll have to deal with some more overwhelming stress.

I am looking for a clear answer from God, but I am having a really hard time hearing Him right now. I am feeling a little abandoned and I feel selfish for feeling that way. I know He is here, and I am still praising Him, but this storm feels like it's getting the best of me.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10