Refreshed

I am refreshed. It's been a hard couple of weeks, but by God's grace and mercy, I am feeling refreshed and ready for the world. It took a full week to get over the grieving period of not getting a positive pregnancy test after our IUI. I felt completely abandoned and hurt beyond words. There was a little well of tears set on my heart. Any and every thing would send forth that spring of tears. I analyzed the reasons why I thought God didn't give us our baby. I was angry and bitter that we'd spend $2000.00 on a procedure that brought nothing but pain both physically and emotionally.

After my "feel sorry for myself" phase, I took a hard look at what I do have and I thanked God for His MANY blessings. I prayed and prayed and decided that no matter what happens, or when it happens, I will only be satisfied with God's will. His will is the only thing that matters, and I know He is guiding both Ryan and I to where we need to be.

My heart knows without a doubt that God WILL give us a baby. A while ago I was overwhelmed with a strong fear that maybe God was not going to give us a baby, and that I would never feel the greatness of a pregnancy and the love that only a mother feels. I prayed about this and God has given me a peace about this situation. It's no longer about IF we get pregnant, it about WHEN God decides to bless us with our baby. God has never failed me, and I know He never will.

I know God has the power to heal, and I feel like a healing is coming. Although there have been times when I've felt like I've been abandoned and left by God, I know He's here. He's with me always. Seeing every tear I cry and hearing every prayer I say.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Blessed be the Lord for when there's no hope, there's always hope in the Lord!

I was blessed to be able to spend a few days with my family. I am so thankful that God has blessed my family. What a Godly heritage I have, and how thankful I am that I have this gift.